If you have a traumatic brain injury, like I do, there’s no doubt that you lose the dumbest things in the world-like phones.
Remember when they were on walls or atop a table?
Then some “genius” decides to “make life more convenient” by inventing the cordless phone. Yeah, it’s convenient for everyone, but us. Most people lose things part of the time, but we never remember where we put anything, do we? And it's not where we last remembered seeing it.
We never remember where the hell we put the motherfucker, do we? We hear it ringing and hunt like Elmer Fudd-and we wind up looking like Elmer Fudd in the end, too…as we’ve only managed to make a total ass of ourselves.
The problem is that the prefrontal cortex, found in the frontal lobe, works about as well as that used car you bought off your “friend” for $200. It’s so thrashed that it couldn’t play thrash metal if it were a member of the San Francisco-based thrash metal band, Exodus.
People accuse you of daydreaming or simply not paying attention, but that’s because they’re idiots-and there’s no excuse for being an idiot in the 21st Century, as one should research another whose behavior they find peculiar.
Meanwhile, you wind up firing obscenities at the moron-who then accuses you of having an attitude.
Believe me, I sympathize, as I’ve lived it myself. The irony is that, even after all the research with all of those who returned from the Iraq War with traumatic brain injury, the bastards still refuse to apologize, as they cite ignorance as an excuse. It’s funny, but these are the same hypocritical sons of bitches who tell us that ignorance is no excuse.
The usual problem is that STM (short-term memory) doesn’t become LTM (long-term memory) because of the hippocampus, and that’s in your brain’s temporal lobe. The funny thing is that my short-term memory usually does become long-term memory-eventually. This is because my memory works like a Polaroid. The information returns in small bits and pieces.
Scientists at the Canadian Institutes of Health Research discovered that there must be unison. The memory must clear through a hippocampal pathway several times.
It’s like a road trip; from the hippocampus through an obstacle course inside the hypothalamus, known as the mammillary bodies, to the anterior cortex, and returning to the hippocampus-and then it’s stored in the cerebral cortex-but only if your head hasn’t been hit by pallets or if you haven’t played in the National Football League.
According to columnist Lia Stannard, researchers at Georgia Tech found that LTM doesn’t decay like STM-and that’s me, kids. It’s probably your experience, too.
It’s frustrating and most people can’t figure out why we are so pissed off when they give us the statements I mentioned prior.
It almost makes you want to hit them in the head with an aluminum baseball bat, just to see what it’s like…. doesn’t it? The problem is that we’d get caught because we would forget how to get out of the area in the first place.
People had just best shut up about our frustration-of which I warn them.
There’s several things I plan to do with regard to this issue.
I have a fifty-year-old rotary phone in California that works better than any of the crap that’s on the market today-and it’s got that short cord, so that I always know where it is.
If I absolutely must carry a cordless phone of any kind, I put the thing in my pocket.